I'm such a horrible person... Feel damn sad now :(

Hi.

I'm actually really disappointed with myself now that I realised that I haven't been updating. So much for the life-documentary efforts. :( I came back from Japan on the 18th and since then, have been slacking. I know that I really have to buck up for my studies but I'm so damn lazy. Haizzz... I used to be so hardworking, like in primary school, I would do my homework right after I get home. But now? I find myself procrastinating like none other. And I would have to dedicate my weekends to tuition after the June hols for Math and Chemistry. Sigh... Like the old days when I was still in primary school. I have a trial lesson this weekend and I hope the teacher is nice and the classmates are nice and whatnots. :(

I'll post about my Japan trip soon!! Shit, I haven't uploaded the pictures to my computer yet. :( Sigh... Anyway, here's a little something that happened today. So basically, my mom works as a babysitter and she takes care of this kid who is like around 18 months? (Not very sure) And the kid is super cute and very talkative but sometimes annoying. <3 So he has 2 brothers, one in Primary 1 and the other who is 5 years old? <-- Also not very sure, I'm damn bad. :( Anyway, the 2 older brothers come at 5pm after school and childcare and then their parents come to pick the three of them up at 7pm. So we were just waiting for their parents to come, when my mom and I started talking about our neighbours who rented the apartment next to ours. They a friendly guy and his girlfriend. And I didn't know he has a girlfriend so I was kinda like, "Oh he has a girlfriend?"

Then the 5 year old kid heard and he asked me, "Sis, do you have a boyfriend?"
Me: What?
Him: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No?
Him: 为什么你不要快点去找一个？(Trans: Why don't you want to go find one?)
Me: WTS? Do YOU have a girlfriend?
Him: *nods head*
Me: *widens eyes in surprise*
Mom: Yeah he told me he has a girlfriend. The girl told him she likes him. He also told me the girlfriend is a little fat.
Me: Oh that's okay. She'll most probably turn hot when she grows up ;)
Mom: Haha, yeah cause it's probably just baby fat that will shed over time.

A few moments later...

Him: Sis, I think you're a little fat.
Me: What? (I'm sorry I don't hear things clearly the first time when talking to him. Yeah...)
Him: I think you're a little fat.
Me: ... </3 Okay.
-End of conversation-

I swear he's not gonna get a girlfriend when he grows up if he remains like that. TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW> :(  ;( FML

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Okay fine, he's just a kid, but my ego took a beating. Speaking of egos, Jomma and Holly, if you're reading this after your gruelling residential Senior Specialist Course (which by the way, I still have to congratulate you for making the cut. ;)) I want to ask you: Is my ego too big? Like during the Japan trip some people who are closer to me say my ego is big. :( Like when sensei praises me for being fluent in Japanese or calling me cute, they're like, "Sensei, wrong choice of words. You'll just inflate her ego." Like do I ever do that? I don't even know if they mean it or they're just joking but that happened twice and I just sucked it up and said nothing. Like sometimes I admit I do that with people who are closer to me, but I mean it in a joking way. :( I really don't know what to do with my life anymore.

As you can tell, this post is super random and angsty like I don't know lahh... :( It's just.. I finally found the appropriate moment to spam and rant and feel sad about anything that has happened. Like once, I wasn't exactly suicidal, I just thought about how it would feel like if I just jumped over the window and plunged towards my death. I wouldn't say it was random, cause I was just feeling rotten about a bad day or my mom's scoldings or something else I couldn't remember. In any case, it was something super trivial in contrast to the reasons of the people who actually committed suicide. I opened the window and stared down from the 8th storey and just stood there wondering. Thank goodness I didn't grab a chair or something and stood on it. I mean, at least my position then looked normal and harmless enough, resembling a person who just wanted to look down the window and nothing else. I don't know what urged me to want to jump. Maybe it was the urge to make my parents feel sad when I died, maybe it was the thrill of falling at breakneck speed, maybe it was the thrill of just wanting to die without any rhyme or reason other than feeling the urge to feel something different. Maybe it was just my mind playing tricks with me. Maybe it was just me wondering if I died, how would I view the world? Would I just be a soul wandering around, looking at myself lying on the floor in a pool of blood, wondering if my eyes were still open or closed when I died. I don't know... This is really morbid right now, right? I should probably stop, but screw this, this is MY blog. So anyway, I don't know what made me think about suicide while standing at the window and staring down a height that would potentially kill me should I choose to go down it without the use of an elevator or stairs. But then again, I don't know what made me pull back and think, "Nah, I'm being stupid." I eventually closed the window and plomped on my bed thinking, "What the hell?"

Okay, even I have to admit, this was weird-ass, batshit crazy. Like it started with an innocent insult then escalated to suicide. WELCOME TO MIRAI'S WORLD. It's not even a ChocoLand anymore. Like how could chocolate cause you to think about suicide. And I don't think you put chocolate and suicide in the same sentence. Wait... Actually you can, right? Let's try.

She didn't get her daily dose of chocolate today, so she jumped off the building feeling depressed and unsatisfied, thereby committing suicide. 

Okay what the hell? I think I'm high from all this depression. Talking about depression, I have a friend who told me she used to suffer from depression. She described that time as just feeling utterly depressed (No shit sherlock!) and not wanting to talk or eat or generally face the world. Hmmm... Anyway, lesson learnt: Don't commit suicide; It makes the people around you sad. Like even if you think the world hates you and nobody loves you, you make them sad because they see your dead body on the ground and it's disturbing. And then they can't get the image of your dead body out of their minds and they go to work lacking concentration and all and maybe they get fired because of it. Now, that would make them really sad, wouldn't it? Or maybe since they don't like you, they start over-thinking about all the bad things they have done or said to you and they feel guilty and are afraid that you'll appear in their dreams that night and haunt them. They won't be able to sleep every night and that will ruin their lives. That's sad too. Or maybe they are so desperate to get you out of their minds, that they seek a psychiatrist and blow their wallets because you have holy powers that prevent them from recovering until they are about to finish spending their life savings on counselling. They become broke and would eventually be sad people. So what I'm saying is, even if you think no one cares, it will have effect on someone and it'll make them sad eventually. Don't be a jerk even when you die. Make people happy. And that's by staying alive, even when the life you have to live is being a jerk to you. :)

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Okay so, I'm gonna stop wallowing in self pity and start doing something to change my life. Okay, so maybe not my life, but I'll try to do something to make myself a better person. Meanwhile, efforts to stop feeling sad point to sweet romantic videos of two people in love. (I'm talking Korean dramas.) So bye~~ I'll start doing the 'something to make myself a better person tomorrow.

Love,
Mirai

Alice Mare - A fairytale in a fairytale...

Hey, I'm back! 

As you can probably tell from the title, this post will be about Alice Mare. Alice Mare is a horror-esque adventure game created by Miwashiba, translated by vgperson. Remember I mentioned Jammed Gears? Well, he recently ported this game for Mac users, so I was able to play it! YAY! Also, I noticed that my previous blog posts are quite lengthy and wordy and all the visual stuff (pictures) are all at the end, so it's hard to stay focused for the reader. Well, I'm gonna try something new today. <3

Oh and by the way, I really hope you like the music. I know there are probably some people who hate music playing while blog walking, but I really love it and I know there will be some people who will like it... so yeah. If you don't like it then just turn it off. The music player is on top of the blog. :P

Cast of Alice Mare (fanart from tumblr)

When you first read out the name of the game, what were you thinking about? (Go on, read "Alice Mare" aloud. What did you think of?) Did you think of Alice in Wonderland? Good. Now, what does the "Mare" in the name mean and make reference to? Nightmare? Correct. "Alice Mare" is just a combination of "Alice" and "Nightmare".

The game starts off by showing this boy named Allen, whom you will be playing as in the game. He appears to be an amnesiac as he doesn't remember anything about his past. He talks to an older man who refers to himself as "Teacher". They are, together with some other children, in a facility. Teacher tells Allen to introduce himself to the other children and while it may be hard to get along with them at first, they are all good kids and there should eventually be no problem. So you wander around the facility and meet the following characters. 

Joshua, Teacher, Chelsy, Stella, Allen and Letty. 

The boy standing up (wearing some sort of headwear) is named Joshua. The guy in the middle and wearing a white shirt is the Teacher. The girl directly beside him, on his left is Chelsy. In front of Joshua is Stella and in front of Chelsy is Letty. Lastly, the one lying on Teacher's lap [? lol whut ._.] is Allen.

Stella is probably the first one you will meet, since her door appears first. She doesn't talk much and is actually surprised that Allen can speak. She claims that Allen doesn't seem alive, more so than the others. She thinks everyone feels dead to her, especially Allen and Teacher. She also seems to hate living people.

Stella hates living people. :O

o.0

Next (in door order) is Joshua. Joshua sure is a weird chap. His name is Joshua (as shown on the name plate outside his room) yet he can't seem to remember his name. He introduces himself as Brown then second guesses himself and it goes on and on... He is implied to be a liar so you shouldn't trust him so much. 

?

Yeah you get what I mean.

Next is Chelsy. She is an incredibly shy girl who is the stereotypical stuttering one. But she is shown to have a kind heart as she tells Allen to keep warm when he sleeps as it is getting colder. I just recently discovered a term for this type of people: Shrinking Violet. (Thanks, tvtropes)

*Introduces herself*

Nice to meet you too, Chelsy.

Last is Letty. When you first meet Letty, you have the impression she is normal. She's very nice and friendly and introduces herself very cheerfully. She tells you that she has a twin brother, Rick, who is currently not around. 

Mmhmm!

The twin brother is not around now.

After meeting the characters, Allen proceeds to have dinner with everyone and Teacher notes that he is already used to being around there though he only recently arrived there. Teacher then says something that gives you an idea about your upcoming journey. 

It starts to get Alice-in-Wonderland-esque.

Allen is then told to go to bed, though it is alright to go talk to the others first. The only thing they cannot do is go upstairs. So you control Allen and interact with the other children. Joshua tells you that he hears sounds coming from the second floor, but is too chicken to go check it out. Stella doesn't care about the sounds when you tell her. Chelsy doesn't say anything. Letty isn't around anymore and Rick appears instead. He says Letty's sleeping but you don't see anyone on the bed. (Hmm... suspicious.) Anyway, Rick warns Allen not to listen to Joshua and that Teacher can be very scary when angry. 

Weird voices coming from above.

"When Letty goes to bed,  I watch the room for her." Is she in bed now? I don't see anyone sleeping. o.0

So you go upstairs anyway, haha. That's what all games make you do. It's hard being the good kid when all odds are against you. When you leave for the second floor, it's already lights out everywhere. UGH, darkness...

So dark...

So you go up to the second floor and you notice that the butterflies in the butterfly specimen are calling for help. So you go ahead and help them but the glass smashes into pieces and Teacher comes running up. He got all worried and asking if you (Allen) are okay. Thankfully, he doesn't scold you or anything. 

Butterflies in butterfly specimen call for help.

Teacher arrives at the scene.

Anyway, back to your room. In your room, you notice there's a cat and it ran into your closet. You open your closet and suddenly you are transported to another world. (Unfortunately, I wasn't able to screenshot the scene in time. :P As embarrassing as it sounds, this was also the part I was stuck at, haha. The screen was pitch black so I just sat there staring at it, hoping something will pop up. It turns out that it was intentional on the creator's part. You're supposed to just move forward so that there's this element of surprise when you reach the end and there appears a character called the Cheshire Cat. 

Cheshire Cat ver. Full body

Cheshire Cat ver. Face

The Cheshire Cat makes his entrance.

You have no idea how hard it is to find pictures of the Cheshire cat. Well, they're not official, but I hope you get the picture. ;)

Anyway, the Cheshire Cat welcomes you into this other World and calls you Alice. Even if you deny that you're Alice, he still says you're Alice because he says so, lol. :D Also, he says whatever Alice does is absolute. Then he runs off and you continue moving forward. Eventually, you meet the White Rabbit in the middle of some place. The place is very ruined and there are stones and weird stuff around. The White Rabbit is like a guardian of the Worlds (as represented by the doors). He stands at their entrance and keeps track of the "visitors". 

You are Alice, so if you say you're dreaming, then sure, you are. ;)

UGH I can't find any pictures of the White Rabbit so you're just gonna have to look at the first picture and look at the top right hand corner. That's the White Rabbit. Okay, so it appears he cannot move from that spot he's standing at, the poor guy. He tells you that you are in fact in a different dimension from your own (no shit, sherlock) and there are many other Worlds in this big world. Each World is like the heart of someone out there, and that each World is guarded by a key. Unfortunately, 4 out of 5 keys were stolen from the White Rabbit by none other than the Cheshire Cat. Knowing the Cheshire Cat, the White Rabbit says that it is highly likely he has scattered them all in the other Worlds. Since the White Rabbit cannot move, he seeks your help in retrieving them back. 

Poor White Rabbit. Basically, he's rooted to the ground. 

4 of his World Keys are gone. The kitty has them. Bad kitty! >:(

You have a chance to ask the White Rabbit questions. Fair enough. You agreed to help him and you're not prepared to just wander in some unknown territory without knowing anything.

The White Rabbit explains about the different Worlds you are about to enter. 

Explanation time! Like I said before, you have ventured into another world by opening the closet. Technically, you have arrived in one big world. Let's call it the Wonderland, since there's Alice and all, and it's so apt! So, the White Rabbit explains that in Wonderland, there will be many other small worlds too. Think of the small worlds as a sub-world. Generally speaking, a sub-world is a place that embodies the hidden parts of an Alice's heart. Remember the Cheshire cat called you Alice? Well, you're not the only one. I'm guessing an Alice is the main character, or you can say, the owner of the world they are in. Which means, you being the Alice of Wonderland (lol), means that Wonderland is a hidden part of your heart. It exists within you. The White Rabbit also says that it only embodies the hidden parts of an Alice's heart, because the surface of the Alice's heart has already started to disappear. Now, back to the story. The little sub-worlds all have Alices of their own. The Alice of Wonderland, is you. :) These worlds are based on each Alice's deepest, darkest pasts. 

Anyway, using his only key, the White Rabbit unlocks the first world and you are able to gain access to it. As you approach the Worlds, the Cheshire Cat appears again. He was unwilling to give the keys back to you, but he was kind enough to give you an informative hint.

Which means, after completing one world, you'll find a key which gives you access to the next world.  

Here you can see the five different Worlds, or aka sub-worlds. 

When you go through the door to the first world, you find yourself in a very familiar room; Letty and Rick's room, except that only Letty is there. So you go ahead and talk to her and she asks you to play with her. 

"Let's play! Play play play!" "Sure!" :)

She tells you to open the closet and you are transported to another place. You wake up in a house made of wood, just like a house you'd find in a forest. Like, owned by a woodcutter or something. So you wander around and find that some doors are locked so you have to do something like any other game.

The wooden house in the World you wake up in.

What I really like about this game is that in the midst of the game, you collect scrapbook pieces. These scrapbooks have the drawings and words from the Alice in the World you are currently in. It kinda gives you a background story and helps you to make the connection to which fairy-tale/fable inspired World you are in. Also, the scrapbook pieces show you what led to each Alice's sad end.

Anyway, after wandering around and interacting with things, you manage to get out of the house. Just as I expected, you were in a house in a forest. XD That aside, guess who we saw? 

Oh dear, who is this poor girl sitting outside here alone? *pedo smile*
Nah, just kidding.

In case you don't know, that's Letty. Letty was sitting there, feeling really parched, so you bring some water to her and she's all well. Letty then mentions how sad she feels, knowing that Rick isn't around. She asks if this is a dream and when hearing that it is, she feels assured because Rick is holding her hand when the real her is sleeping.

Moving on, you have to solve this really troublesome puzzle. Or rather, it's a riddle. BREAKING NEWS: I'm horrible at riddles and apparently in this world, if you get an answer wrong 3 times, you'll die. Oh bummer... So after dying 1 time, I finally got the answer (totally didn't cheat). Really, it was a lucky guess. I don't understand why that (the answer I managed to guess) was the answer, haha. XD LIKE I SAID, I GUESSED, SO DON'T DOUBT ME! I may be bad at riddles, but I have good luck.

This is probably where you will first find your first Shard of XXXX. Up till now, I'm still a little unsure of what XXXX mean. I have my suspicions that XXXX = LOVE, but I'm not very sure. Anyways, Shards of XXXX appear in different places in different worlds. If you collect all of them, you will be granted access to an extra scene. 

After that, as you proceed towards the direction of the house, you meet the Cheshire Cat and... Rick. Well, now we know that Letty and Rick can appear at the same time and not have one disappear when the other one is around. But then again, this is a World. If you haven't noticed already, this World belongs to an Alice and the Alice is Letty. So we can't rule out the possibility that that Rick before you is not real. Ah well, what business does the Cheshire Cat have with you? 

Hmmm... I don't know. He was gonna eat Rick, so I'm guessing that does have something to do with you and Letty. But that Rick was acting weird and he had blood over him, so I don't know if I should really care, but whatever. You go into the house and realise that it looked different than before. 

A chocolate wardrobe!

A cookie drawer!

Have you noticed already? Chocolate and cookie plus stuff that looks like chocolate Pocky sticks are part of the house. Have you figured out the fairy-tale, or rather, the fable this World is inspired from? No? Well, let me show a scrapbook piece.

Sweets!! Who doesn't love them? You? Oh you uncultured shit. Tsk tsk...

Ring a bell? Anyway, you go back to the kitchen (where the oven is) and guess who you found?

I wonder who that mysterious creature is...

Letty then gets really scared and calls out Rick's name. The creature gets frustrated.

The creature's frustration. She says that there are only 3 people in the house.

Letty is certain that Rick exists. 

In her state of anger, Letty pushes the creature into the fire. Shock then overcame her and she cries out "Moth-mother...!"

So you're wondering what happened? If you played the game and read the scrapbook pieces (which you haven't except for one), you'll realise that Letty is the one writing and drawing in the scrapbook. She talks about how she feels safe when Rick is around, but she notices that Rick was hardly happy except when he talked to her. She also mentions that her mother brought her out into the deep woods and told her to wait there. While waiting, she chatted with Rick, and that was when he was genuinely happy. She later says that her mother is not her real mother. Her real mother died while giving birth to her and that her current mother often teases her real mother. She is constantly bearing the brunt of her teasings and often suffers inside. She was so hungry she wished her clothes and house were made of sweets. She was basically abused by her stepmother.

I wasn't very sure about Letty's underlying backstory, but I find the interpretation from ManlyBadassHero to be the most reasonable. First off, it's the normal Hansel and Gretel fable where the stepmother attempts to abandon the twins, except that in Letty's case, she was the only child. There was no twin. Rick was a subconscious personality created by Letty to shield herself from her stepmother's abuse. Coupled with the information provided from the newest version of the game, it was further proven that Rick was not real as he only appeared when the stepmother sent Letty out "because there was no food left for her." At that time, Letty wondered if it was because she was weak that there was no food left for her. As she walked into the woods alone, a lone boy told her, "I'll be strong, so you can be weak." Since then, Letty has relied on the boy (Rick) to shoulder every burden she has. Eventually, Rick could not take it any more, which led to him killing the stepmother by pushing her into the oven. 

The scene when it was shown that Letty pushed the stepmother (creature) into the oven, shows that Letty was also in a bloodied state. Remember Rick was also in a bloodied state? It was hypothesised that it was in fact Rick who killed the stepmother in defence and therefore when he merged back with Letty, she ends up with the same appearance. Anyway, after the stepmother was pushed into the oven, Letty jumps into the oven too and died (I believe). The final scrapbook piece appears and some words were blurred out, but ManlyBadassHero managed to guess the words which fit into the context.

"Teacher, is her pain the only reason I exist?"

Now I'm confused as well, since the scrapbook is supposed to be written by Letty, or am I wrong? It appears this sentence is in the point of view of Rick, since he was created by Letty when she was in despair after the abuse by her stepmother. *shrugs*

All this time we have been wondering if both of the "twins" were real. This is apparently not the case. This explains why Rick never seems to be around when Letty is and vice versa. But this doesn't explain why Allen was able to see Rick back in the facility... I'm confused...

Anyway, that was Letty and Rick's story. The inspired fable is Hansel and Gretel. I'd say this game is a little dark. I guess this is what makes up the lack of horror in the game. They replaced it with what I'd call "psychological horror". If you are not feeling the horror yet, let me tell you something. This is not official, but if I were to write a cracked article about this topic, I'd say Letty has schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is a mental disorder where the patient sees things that do not actually exist. This mental disorder often appears in young children (Letty) and they say that they are able to see some people (Rick) and believe they are real. It's like seeing imaginary people and that the imaginary people can sometimes influence the sufferer so much that they affect the sufferer to do things, e.g. kill. 

After collecting the World Key from Letty's World, you go back to meet the White Rabbit and pass him the key to unlock the next world. It turns out that this time, it's Chelsy's turn. 

Inviting Chelsy to play.

Since Chelsy was too shy, you have to invite her to play, which ends up in you opening the closet and being transported to another place again. You wake up in a bed again, this time in a house with lots of Teddy bears and after wandering around again, you meet Chelsy.

Meeting Chelsy in her World.

Chelsy's story didn't have much happening during the gameplay. Rather, it was her scrapbook pieces which told more story than the gameplay. (Or maybe I just didn't take much screenshots. =.=)

Chelsy was tasked to take a basket full of bread and wine to her grandmother.

Follow the usual route, kids.

Because there's a scary wolf that will eat you up.

So anyway, the gameplay involves Allen and Chelsy going to her grandmother's house. Chelsy also stopped to pick up some flowers for her grandmother. Usually, she was told not to do that, but since it was a Dream, she thought: "Oh who cares?" And then they proceeded to her grandmother's house. Naturally, there were some riddles that you have to solve, but they were not so much of a pain in the butt as compared to the one in Letty's World. So they managed to get into Grandmother's house but Grandmother did not respond when Chelsy called out to her. Anyway, they went into a room for a little while to collect the next World Key and at the same time, obtained a scrapbook piece.

Well, it speaks for itself. 

Naturally, Chelsy has a bad feeling and after much persuading on Allen's part, finally agrees to go back to her grandmother's room, only to see that there was a wolf and it ate her grandmother. !!Surprise!!

Chelsy and Allen facing the wolf.

Eventually, the wolf decided to attack Chelsy and as Allen, you have the choice to Tackle or to use the axe (which you obtained earlier). If you tackle, you'll die, so you have to use the axe, which results in killing the wolf. Chelsy goes into depression and says she hates the colour red and closes her eyes so that she can't see it. 

Again, you're gonna need some explanation to make sense of everything. Up til this point, it is totally fine to interpret Chelsy's story as a girl who did not listen to her mother's advice and wandered off and met a wolf and eventually led it to her grandmother, resulting in her death. That's totally fine as that's the original version of the story (kinda). It is fine, because I did not tell you everything. 

In the original version, the grandmother is sickly and Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver things to her grandmother under her mother's orders. However, in this World, Chelsy's mother is the one who is sickly. Chelsy, being the good daughter, decides not to go to school so that she can take care of her sick mother. Her father is rarely at home. Her grandmother is a medicine-maker and every time the medicine at home runs out, Chelsy's mother would send her out to get some more from her grandmother. 

This time, feeling indebted, Chelsy's mother sends Chelsy out with a basket full of bread and wine and tells her not to stray and wander off. Chelsy finds flowers during her walk to her grandmother's house and decides her grandmother would love it if she had some flowers. So Chelsy strayed from her path to pick some flowers and there she met a kind man who was looking for a medicine-maker. Yes, it was a man, not a wolf. Chelsy, being really kind, decided to bring him along with her since she kinda knew it was her grandmother whom he was looking for.

When she reached her grandmother's house, she leaves her grandmother alone with the kind man and entered the medicine room to collect medicine. When she returned to her grandmother, she found out that the kind man had killed her grandmother and was collecting medicine and hastily putting them in a bag. He sees her and slowly approaches her, probably going to kill her as well. Chelsy, in desperation, killed the man. With all the blood flowing out, Chelsy is scarred and therefore hates the colour red. She probably died of despair or something. Or maybe she didn't die. Understandable? 

Now, here is where everything gets really f**ked up. Like in Letty's World, when the Alice dies (or so it seems) there will be a last scrapbook piece. 

"Teacher, I... still can't grieve father.
Those eyes... were his.
...Help me."

Do you see where this is going? 

"I still can't grieve father." 

You grieve someone because they die or something. This brings us to another hypothesis that in fact, her father died. But how and where? Where does he fit in the story? How about, her father being the kind man? Chelsy led her father into her grandmother's house and with her back turned, he killed Grandmother, which is equivalent to a wolf (father) eating (killing) her grandmother. Her father was going to escape until he saw Chelsy. He approached Chelsy, intending to kill and out of desperation, Chelsy killed her father. Now, the scrapbook's words finally fit in. Chelsy couldn't bring herself to grieve over her father's death. She recognised her father's eyes, recognised that it was in fact her father who committed murder. Some people replace "his" with "sad". I personally feel that "his" fits more, because it is highlighting the fact that Chelsy can't be sad because she knows deep inside that he killed her grandmother. 

However, "sad" could work out, if you interpret it with Chelsy's last words: "Help me...". It clearly shows that she is confused and needs someone to help her. What could she be confused about? On one hand, she could not feel sad about her father's death. On the other hand, she notices that his eyes were "sad", indicating the murder might not have been intentional on his part. Chelsy is then conflicted on what to believe. If her father truly did not mean to kill anyone, she should be able to feel sad for him, but now, she still can't grieve father. She has tried, but she can't. 

To anyone who is suspicious about the fact that Chelsy didn't recognise her father when she met him while picking flowers in this theory, I'll say that it is probably due to the fact that her father is rarely home. She probably didn't recognise him. ;( Brrrr... Am I the only one feeling the chills here? Again with the cracked articles, Chelsy could be a serious case of the Nice Girl Syndrome, being manipulated easily. But it's not as scary as Schizophrenia, right? 

Again, you return the collected World Key to the White Rabbit and the next World he sends you to is Joshua's.

Again, you play with the Alice. 

So you open the closet and are transported to another place.

A very luxurious place...

You wake up in a big room. It gave me the impression that Joshua was a rich man's son. I mean, look at the bed and all the furniture! But I must say that the choice of colour has got to be the most flattering thing ever! Anyway, you walk about, solve riddles and you find Joshua. But before that, you obtain some scrapbook pieces.

Unbelievable...

Joshua's mother thinks of them as harmless jokes fueled by imagination.

Maybe because his stories escalated into no-laughing matters.

Allen meets Joshua in this World.

I seriously have nothing much to say about Joshua's gameplay. It's just walking around doing stuff. What's important is the scrapbook pieces!

Well, maybe because you're a liar!

Okay, so the scrapbook taps on the topic about Joshua being ignored by his parents. Sad, but not that big of a deal compared to what's coming up. Allen and Joshua enter this room where they meet the ever pesky Cheshire Cat and a hanged figure.

Cheshire Cat standing in front of Joshua's mother.

Joshua notices in horror that his mother is being hanged. But he then denies that it is his mother because her eyes do not look like that. After that, the Cheshire Cat made many eyes appear around the room and asks Joshua to identify which eye belongs to his mother. (I chose not to show that pic, because it's a bit haunting.) Joshua freaks out.

Now for the underlying backstory, since nothing is complete without it (even more so for this World ;)) So in fact, I was right about Joshua being a rich kid. He lived with his parents and a brother and a sister. Apparently, there were many things forced upon him and such a rich lifestyle can be a little suffocating and dry. So Joshua naturally got bored of everything. He would wander outside and when he came back, would talk about all his escapades to his mother, and most of them were exaggerations and lies. His mother would look surprised and then laugh and pet his head, probably thinking it's just a child's imagination. I mean, wouldn't you think the same? Joshua liked seeing his mother's surprised face and he went on telling lies about his escapades, just to get his mother to talk to him. His talks became more and more unbelievable, until one day, his mother did not laugh at what he said anymore. One day, Joshua noticed that his father "went cold" and he was "floating". (When I read that, I automatically assumed he died.) Joshua tried to lead his mother to his father and convince her that he indeed "went cold", but his mother refused to believe him. 

Eventually, it was Joshua's brother and sister who managed to get his mother to his father. His mother realised that his father had indeed "went cold". Since then, she displayed a face that he had never seen before. She would sit on a chair and stare into nothing. 

The truth is, despite the wealth the family had, they eventually met with some financial troubles. Joshua's father was overwhelmed with all the debts and money-related problems. He then took his life by hanging himself, which explains "went cold" and "floating". His mother became depressed, probably because she didn't believe Joshua or maybe just depressed over her husband's death.  

Joshua, being a young boy, did not understand that lying was wrong and that it was the primary reason why his mother refused to look at him anymore and didn't believe him. His mother would only look at his siblings and Joshua felt shunned and unwanted. This lack of attention and most importantly, lack of love, caused Joshua despair. This is his last scrapbook piece:

"But I still said it.
Did I make the right choice?"

Joshua's brother is good at soccer, his sister is smart, but he felt he was nothing. His mother would only look at his siblings, not at him. Therefore, he always spoke up, always lied to get attention. He was nothing, but he said he was something. He had nothing, yet he said he had something. In the end, he didn't know who he was and what he had anymore. He got so sad after saying those things because deep inside, he knew the bitter truth. It dawned upon him that whatever he said, it will hurt someone.

But he still said it. He still told the truth that his father had died and in doing that, he had hurt his mother. Did he make the right choice by saying that? It wasn't supposed to hurt anybody since it was the truth, so why was his mother so hurt? Joshua wonders if he had made the right choice, seeing that his mother is devastated.

If I have to say what disorder Joshua has, it'd be Compulsive Lying Disorder. A compulsive liar would always tell lies, just like The Boy who cried Wolf.

Once again, the next World Key is collected. The next World you'll be entering is Stella's World.

Let's play with Stella!

I think you know what happens here. You get transported to another place again. You wake up in a very weird place. The atmosphere of the place reminds you a graveyard... Everything's dead there.

A bed in the middle of nowhere...

So you wander around once again through the annoying mazes (like WTH?) and you finally see Stella, but Teacher is also there. 

Stella and Teacher sitting at a dining table [?] in the middle of nowhere again.

As seen from the previous Worlds, the setting in the Worlds reflect a place that the Alice knows about. We can safely assume that Stella knows about this god-forsaken place. Anyway, Stella follows you around too, and so does teacher. Honestly, it's very cute watching 3 characters walking in a single file.

Ahaha, how cute <3

Anyway, in the middle of your gameplay, Stella gets tired and you three sit down and rest. Stella kindly reminds you again of how you and Teacher feel very dead. 

Thanks... I'm a Walking Corpse, then. =.=

Eventually, the three of you reach a point where there is a room in which Teacher just walks towards alone and tells you two not to follow. It seems like Teacher has some secret lurking inside there... Stella then tells you that she will follow you wherever you go (no, not in a romantic way, haha). There are some jumpscares here and there but they are not so extreme. The thing is, it catches you off guard since during the whole game, there were no jumpscares when you anticipated them, but once you let down your guard, they pop out. :P

Basically, you and Stella reach a gravesite [?] kind of place and there is a piano with missing pieces which you have to find. You find them and put them back onto the piano and Stella plays it. You and Stella have this short conversation about XXXX. Haha, remember XXXX? Stella says that when someone loses XXXX, they die. She then comes to the realisation that the reason why Allen and Teacher both seem so dead is because they have lost that one thing. She then has this sudden motivation to move on on their journey. 

You enter this place with a huge stone where many names are carved on. Stella says that eventually, her name too will be carved on that huge stone. The names belonged to all the people who used to live in that village. (:O It's a village!!) They eventually died.

Never let anyone die a second time.

You then walk around and eventually find an apple tree. Stella reminisces about the past, about how she was "up there" and when the villagers tried to reach out to her, they ended up "falling". Stella, too, reached out to them, but she couldn't follow them to where they have gone to. She then says something about how she should have eaten that apple a long time ago.

I'm not very clear about Stella's World, because she always seems to speak about everything in metaphors. If I am not wrong, (which I highly am), where Stella used to live was far from a disease-free sanctuary. There was this plague that attacked the village and many villagers ended up dying. Stella was orphaned because of that and she was then adopted into many families, but the families that took her in would slowly succumb to the disease and die off until Stella is the only one left. All the people who have died had their names carved on that huge stone and Stella believes her name too will be carved on it. She walked to this apple tree by the water and then explained about her past.

While everyone was slowly dying due to the disease, Stella realised that she was in fact immune to the disease. The reason is not very clear to me, but it has been hinted by others that in the game's ending credits, it shows a girl who resembles Stella getting a shot, probably a vaccination from the disease. The place and time of that happening is unfortunately and yet again unclear. Someone gave her an apple and told her eat it if she doesn't wish to be alone. As you can probably tell, the apple is poisonous and the only way for Stella to not feel lonely again is to eat the apple and die, thus following in the footsteps of all the villagers. I still don't really understand the part about her being "up there" and the villagers "reaching out to her" but in the end "falling". I'll just assume that the villagers wanted her to be together with them (i.e. die like them) and while getting her to do so, they died. As for the reason, they probably didn't want her to be alone.

In the end, Stella decides to eat the apple and asks if you would join her. If you join her, you'll die. If you don't, then you'll continue with the story. :P

"But Teacher, you understand, don't you?"

And that was her one and only scrapbook piece. Her story was inspired by Snow White if you haven't figured it out yet. Alas, you're wondering what Teacher understands too. Stella is thinking that Teacher understands how it feels like to not have love in their hearts, to be forgotten and alone. Betcha didn't know Teacher was as forgotten and depressed as Stella, perhaps even more so, which is why we will be moving on to Teacher's past, but later. The flow of the story shall not be disrupted. 

There is one last room you can enter. You can choose not to enter though. From there your objective would be to stab someone with the last key. If you stab that person, that person becomes a door for you to go back to your original world, but the person being stabbed can't go back because his/her soul remains in the World, and eventually, the Cheshire Cat would eat it since he claims they don't need it anymore. If you stab Letty, the end would be "The Two of Us". If you stab Chelsy, the ending would be "The Color Red". If you stab Joshua, the ending would be "Crying Wolf" and if you stab Stella, the ending would be "Poison Apple". If you choose not to stab anyone, you'd be choosing to make a pact with the demon, Cheshire Cat. We all know that doesn't end well, and the Cheshire Cat either ends up killing you or possessing your body, eventually breaking his promise that he would not hurt the others. The ending would be "Cheshire Cat", with a super scary-looking Allen, with a slasher smile plastered onto his face. *Shivers*

Of course you can be like me and choose not to stab anyone yet and instead venture through the last door. You may think that's it's your World, but ultimately, the whole Wonderland is your World, so technically it should belong to someone else. It turns out it's Teacher's World. Again, the gameplay didn't show anything of high significance and neither was there scrapbook pieces to show the plot. Let me just skip towards the end. 

The end shows you finding Teacher after being separated from each other. He notices the last key you're holding and requests you give it to him. Regardless of whether you choose to give it to him or hide it behind your back, he still manages to obtain it and then stabs himself. 

As he was going to die, he explains his past partially. The other half is supposed to come from an extra scene, but I'll just say everything right here, right now. Teacher used to have his own World as well, meaning he was just like all our dear characters, stuck in the World. Another person stuck there was his sister, Fiona, who had stabbed herself with the key so that Teacher can go back to the original world. It appears Teacher used to succumb to this syndrome called Nightmare syndrome that is very prone to appear in children with dark and sad pasts. The characters in the game were prone to such a syndrome and Teacher took them in and cared for them. It seems that the Nightmare Syndrome is somewhat connected to the World and that people who have or are prone to have the syndrome will be more likely to find themselves in that alternate World. Since Teacher knows that the syndrome is connected to the Wonderland, he was in his way, trying to protect the children from that Wonderland World by taking them in and monitoring (caring for) them. Teacher's past was also sad because he was never loved. He tried to love other people, but in the end, they still did not love him back. Because he was caught in the World, he had to find an exit and his sister provided the exit by stabbing herself with the key. He got very depressed because his sister stabbed herself in front of him and he wanted more than anyone to destroy that World, which is why he stabbed himself to save Allen and the others.

As for his dear sister, Fiona, she did not die immediately after stabbing herself with the key, as with anyone who is in that situation. A person who has been stabbed with the World Key will not die immediately, but instead be trapped in the Wonderland until demons come and consume it, as mentioned before. So that's what happened to Fiona. Before Teacher himself died by stabbing himself with the key, he told Allen to forget about him. This is because he knew what would happen if Allen kept remembering his sacrifice: Allen would become depressed like Teacher once did after his sister sacrificed himself and he might become too obsessed about the Wonderland, wanting to destroy it. He basically didn't want Allen and the others to have anything to do with the Wonderland anymore, therefore urging and almost begging Allen to forget about him. :(

Remember when Stella said that people who has lost XXXX will die? It is very obvious at this point that XXXX is love and we can hence make the connection that Allen had lost love too. It was part of Teacher's childhood to be lacking in love and hence suffering from the Nightmare Syndrome. Allen is also prone to suffering from the Nightmare Syndrome as he lost his parents in a car accident prior to his amnesia. He has already lost his loved ones, hence losing love as well. 

Teacher was saved when his sister stabbed herself for him. Allen is saved because Teacher stabbed himself or he stabbed the other characters. If Teacher was saved once, but eventually came back to the World, we can't rule out the possibility that Allen might turn out like Teacher when he grows up, finding himself in that World again, while the vicious cycle of sacrificing souls continues, highly likely courtesy of the Cheshire Cat. 

As you can probably tell, the Cheshire Cat is a goddamn motherf***er (sorry for the curses) and this whole process of succumbing to the Nightmare Syndrome and once more going back into the world as an attempt to stop the vicious cycle of never-ending sacrifices, will probably continue forever. This is a haunting aspect in itself. I know this is getting long, but I still have something to say.

Although I did not tell you before, in the starting of the game, the following words can be read: "The ant told me that the frog is bad. The frog told me that the cat is bad. The cat told me, no. The rabbit is the worst of them all." This brings me to more mindf**k, courtesy of ManlyBadassHero. In the Wonderland, there are many demons that take the form of fairytale/fable characters, notable examples including our dear Cheshire Cat and White Rabbit. Yes, demons. A demon in the form of an ant says that the frog is bad. The frog thinks that the Cheshire Cat is bad, but no. The Cheshire Cat thinks the White Rabbit is the worst. While you may have come to the conclusion that the Cheshire Cat is the demon going around consuming poor souls that are trapped after stabbing themselves with the key, the game is implying that compared to what the White Rabbit can do, the Cheshire Cat is a saint. While the Cheshire Cat is stereotypically evil, the White Rabbit has the ability to alter fates of children who enter the Wonderland, which I assume through means of communication like telling and convincing Allen that the Cheshire Cat is the bad one. That makes the White Rabbit the overall mastermind of the Wonderland. He lured children in when he got the chance after altering their fate. If you think about it, it would mean that the White Rabbit meant for everything to happen: Allen's parents' deaths, the other children's murder or witness of death... everything.

The Cheshire Cat may be a motherf***er, but the White Rabbit is downright creepy. >:( Oh my gosh. I seriously need to meet the creator of this game in person and see what kind of creepy shit he/she is. I would understand if there exists the ability to bullshit a disturbing story like this after long hours of brainstorming, going all "Oh, I need to add in more mindf**k to this, and another death to that, oh and don't forget the angst. The angst, Jimmy, the ANGST! WE NEED MORE ANGST!" But if the creator just woke up one morning and got the idea from a dream, then man, how do you live your life?! Don't get me wrong. I love this story, I love how it's unique. I love that it has everything to do with Alice in Wonderland and all the other stories I have read when I was young. I love how it opens up my perspectives and make me aware that there are many ways to interpret a supposedly innocent-looking childhood fable. It made me think about the different ways that story would have ended if I just pop in a death here and a plot twist there. Most importantly, it's starting to make me think like a psychopath, oh gosh. Okay, maybe not a psychopath, but someone creepy. This makes me remember about all the English Literature lessons I used to have. Oh, how nice it would be if I could bullshit some theory for analysis about this game and get a wonderful score for that? Literature would be a hundred times more fun than usual! Someone should definitely propose that to the school.

Anyway, since I am so horrible at expressing my thoughts, I shall spare you from more words. I do realise I am supposed to be making more of an effort to make this easy to read, but I like writing, so much so that it looks like I have a serious case of word vomit. >.< But really, can't you see how much effort I poured into this? I took the screenshots individually and put them all here, organising everything so nicely that even if you don't understand the game plot by the time you leave this blog post, you should be embarrassed to even try and criticise me for my effort. >.< *pants* Well, that was a long sentence!

Okay, I seriously don't know how to end this without sounding awkward, but since I know that I probably AM going to sound awkward anyways, why not make it as awkward as possible? :D
BYE. That's all. Hehh hehh. (Sorry if this sounds awkward ;))

Tons of Love,
Mirai