First Update in Forever!!

WOW.

I can't believe I haven't updated in like a month? The EYAs have ended so long ago and we even got back our papers, but I guess I let the holiday mood sink in quite early this year. Haizz I'm too lazy to blog but I know that if I don't, I'll probably end up giving up.

Let's just start by saying EYAs was horrible. I only got like 2 4.0s? And one was Philosophy. =.= Wait, I got 3, if you count Japanese. UGHH This period is also known as the 'RA Selection' period. RA stands for Raffles' Academy, which equals to advanced subjects, like you can go for English RA and the things you'll be doing there is higher-level English, I guess? More like they are harder and you learn more things. Talk about mentally draining.

I didn't even get into 1 RA, okay? Okay, it was partly my fault as I was too ignorant to know the method to apply for RA. I WANTED TO APPLY FOR LIT! Cause I actually like Lit? Then I hear and see people like Penny (my friend, not her real name) and her friend Ally (not her real name) who are absolutely literary geniuses, and I am sitting in the loser lane. Life sucks. I want a Japanese RA. Last time I checked, my Japanese oral score was purrrfect~~ Maybe that is the only subject I actually have a chance to do well in? That was the sad part. I completely flushed down whatever chances I have of getting into a RA into the toilet bowl. But you know what's even sadder? I had absolutely no teacher's recommendation whatsoever to sit for any RA selection test! This is humiliating! I think half of my class got into a RA? And here I was sitting here today, going, "Hey! Who's not going for RA selection test? Nobody? Okay that's cool." NOT!

Ugh I should go die in a hole to cut the world some slack and not having to watch my pitiful sight. <It's after the exams and I don't know whether I phrased that sentence right? I feel so inferior in my English writing skills. Why is it that I can do well in class work but when it comes to tests, I flunk everything? It's horrible actually. My mind has this way to tell me you'll do horrible or fine in whatever test. That is, it decides to be a scumbag and assure me I'll do decently when I'm freaking out and telling me I'm screwed when I just don't feel nervous or anything. Maybe it's just because I don't give a shit about that test, hence the bad results, or I just know I'm screwed so I'm saving energy for more useful purposes.

Anyway, that's enough of the EYAs and RAs. Talking about it more is just gonna make me more and more upset. Anyway, today was kinda fun, really. Since it's after the EYAs, we are having Post EYA activities. This one is actually quite fun, okay? As compared to some other activities *cough* Netball Carnival *cough cough*. Hey don't be mistaken. Netball is a sport therefore I shall assume it is beneficial to health or whatever it is supposed to be beneficial to. However, I'm dyslexic when it comes to sports. Maybe not so much as in I can still run and jump and catch a ball and other basic motor skills, but other than that I am hopeless. If you ever find a person worse than me in sports, please throw a party for me. And just for your information, in my whole life, I have only been to 1 birthday party. Yes. 1. FML If you count weddings as parties, then 2.

Anyway, the activity was DramaNite. Like you know, Drama Night? All the Year 1 and 2 classes are expected to come up with a short skit (is that what it is called?). The Year 1s are supposed to base theirs on their English Literature book, Gathering Blue, which according to my classmate, has nothing to do with someone going on a quest to collect the colour blue, if that's what you're thinking. ._. It's about a blind girl whom the society thinks is useless after her parents died. Little did they know that she was very talented at sewing and embroidery. So they sent her to places to learn proper techniques and other fancy stuff and if I'm not wrong, the book just ends there. Like WTS? Either my classmate found the book too boring and decided to end it there (official or not) or Lois Lowry was doing a sucky job. I'm hoping it's just my friend. Lois Lowry's The Giver is an awesome book. Anyway, the Year 2s are supposed to perform an original ballad. Needless to say, our class did a wonderful job. But we weren't shortlisted, haha. I really thought it was a good effort. There was even a dance. :)

Today was basically sneaking around watching other classes auditioning after us. By right, I wasn't supposed to be there watching other classes, but who cares. I was ninja-ing around, counting the number of fucks I give. <-- which I didn't get very far. I was really shocked and excited when I heard the ballad class 207 was performing. Excited because I knew the song they used and the lyrics they sang. Shocked because it was supposed to be original. I can safely say that they were really performing a ballad, because the song had that heartbreaking sadness and was the work of a genius, MOTHY. Unfortunately, 207 kind of ruined the work. I'm not going to say that they were terrible in the singing, which isn't very far from the truth but, hey, at least they barely made it. BARELY. The piano arrangement was nice, but the singing faltered and never outshone the piano. Which is very bad. With exactly the same plot and the same music and the literally perfect lyrics, it's not wonder they got in. <-- That is what I though and i guess it will be the only thing I'll be thinking of when I see 207's performance during DramaNite. They completely ripped off from "Servant of Evil" from Kagamine Len, a Vocaloid. (which reminds me, I still haven't devoted a post for them. D:) The plot... the cast... Everything was a rip-off! Except for an added mirror, which was far from MOTHY'S ingenious ideas and standards. It made me angry that they actually qualified to perform for DramaNite. How original. Maybe I would be less angry if they had credited MOTHY and his works, but no.

Haizz. Everything went downhill for the day after that. Our CCA had a briefing with the school management. It sounded so serious and Holly and I were actually nervous about what they had to talk about. Turns out that Singapore was decreasing in brith rate and therefore there will be decreased admission into school nation-wide. Fine. Because there are less students, there will be lesser teachers to go around and therefore with 49 CCAs in our school, the declining staff cannot handle us. Thus, the school has to cut down on the number of CCAs in the school. And according to them, they took a lot of time and consideration to finally decide to merge us with NCC Land. Note: WE are the ones who have to follow THEM. Can you see why I am angry right now? No? Let me enlighten you.

I have been in this CCA for 2 years and counting. I came into RGS not knowing which CCA I want to get into, and frankly speaking, seeing as I have absolutely no talent in the musical aspect though I have a musical background, I decided, why not try something different? That is when I started exploring all the Uniform Groups in my school. I remember being in school with my father for the CCA open house where we can roam around finding more about different CCAs in school. Once again, nothing appealed more to me than the Uniformed Groups in my school. NCC Air was interesting, yes. There were many other Uniformed Groups I could have chosen from and frankly speaking, NCC Air was not my personal first choice. I was impressed and motivated by how Uniformed Group seniors had this charismatic feel to all of them and how passionate they were about the CCA. I still hold on to this belief that one Uniformed Group senior told me, "Uniformed Groups and meant to train people physically and mentally. It is ideal for basically anyone. It doesn't matter who you are or how you look like." So I thought, why not join this wonderful family? I remember going for NCC Air interviews and for the first time in my life, I was actually enthusiastic and I was eager to answer their questions. I was offered a spot in NCC Air. Remember I said that NCC Air was not my first choice? Well, I still chose it in the end, because my mom was more supportive of it than my personal first choice. When I entered as a Part A, I remember taking a long time to change into my PE uniform as I was too scared to come out quickly and face my Part A PSes. Needless to say, I was intimidated by them. From there, through their strict trainings, I grew with my platoonmates as a platoon and we learnt the importance of bonding and staying strong together. We learnt the importance of each other in our NCC Journey. Wanting the best, I made the effort to do my best in everything and I even tried to strengthen our bonds. While Part A was an enjoyable year, it was saddening to see people start to leave this year. We had a lot of people. A good number left and we were left with 5. As a small platoon, we had it the roughest, I must say. Tears, joy, sweat. We shared all those. We even saw each other in the buff. And now, this small platoon of 5 has met its biggest obstacle it has ever faced. Even though we are still together, merging together meant a lost identity. We all came into this CCA as rookies who knew very well we belonged in this wonderful family and home we call NCC Air. Although there were times we wished to never be associated with NCC, we grew to love it and its people. We are NCC Air. Not just any NCC! Telling us to go into another CCA like it is nothing is very much impossible for me as it is impossible for my platoonmates, I believe. From next year onwards, I will be known as a NCC Land cadet, not an Air cadet anymore. It took so much time to acknowledge being in a new big family. I don't care if NCC Land is older and more experienced than us. The fact that the school has placed us under their wing shows that WE are to become like THEM. We Air have to change and become the Land. While the Land? All they have to do is adapt to having us around. The least they can so for us Air, is to welcome us and treat us as equals. Look at us! We are being called Land next year! When we go to HQ, we will be Land, no longer AIR! We will never be able to cheer Airborne again, we will never hear the NCC Air sirs teasing us girls and telling us that the password for a certain computer is "airissexy". We will never hear from our Air commandant again. I will never see my Air friends again. Even worse, as Land (as much as it tastes and sounds bitter on my tongue, I shall say this horrible word), we are expected to be like them i.e. cheer and command like them, behave like them. I have had my own set of ideals and values from being in this CCA for 2 years. I have learnt to care for fellow cadets. I have learnt to bond and share whatever with each other. And now they are telling me to be like Land and dispose of my values. I can no longer talk to seniors as I please. I have to greet them even if I am not in uniform. This is utter misery. Land has nothing to lose here. Everything about Air is at stake here. I understand that as the school's management team, they have to do something. As difficult as they make it sound, I can't help but believe that there is a better way to resolve things. I probably sound like a whiny kid right now, but I have had too much to bear in these few years. I have the least luck in the world. I have missed so many opportunities in life and this thing I hold dear called the NCC Air family... is it going to vanish? Although we will still see each other, I can't help feeling reluctant to let go of our NCC Air identity and journey. Land ain't got shit on us. They had better not look down on us and instead think that it is their pleasure to have us with them, cause bitches, we own the world. We are such awesome people whom you don't know exist! We are a committed bunch who teach their cadets what it really means to bond!!

*gasp* I have finished my rant. I shall go off now.

Bye.
Mirai (no heart today)